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浙江一基层公务员:我变成了自己曾讨厌的人

来源: 南方日报网络版     时间: 2018年10月23日 22:03:49
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(  新)(华)(网)(杭)(州)(1月)(19日)(新)(媒)(体)(专)(电)((“中)(国)(网)(事)(”记)(者)(周)(竟)()“前)(两)(天)(我)(和)(父)(母)(提)(了)(要)(辞)(职)(,本)(以)(为)(他)(们)(能)(理)(解)(,没)(想)(到)(他)(们)(惊)(讶)(得)(差)(点)(跳)(起)(来)(,坚)(决)(反)(对)(。”坐)(在)(记)(者)(面)(前)(,在)(浙)(江)(省)(某)(事)(业)(单)(位)(工)(作)(了)(5年)(的)(陈)(洋)((化)(名)()又)(开)(始)(纠)(结)(起)(来)(。  “他)(们)(骂)(我)(‘是)(不)(是)(脑)(子)(坏)(了)(,这)(么)(好)(的)(工)(作)(上)(哪)(找)(,不)(知)(道)(多)(少)(人)(想)(进)(都)(进)(不)(了)(吗)(?’‘你)(不)(要)(身)(在)(福)(中)(不)(知)(福)(’。”30岁)(的)(陈)(洋)(说)(,他)(实)(在)(是)(做)(腻)(了)(,但)(作)(为)(家)(里)(的)(独)(子)(,又)(不)(能)(不)(顾)(父)(母)(的)(感)(受)(。  陈)(洋)(的)(父)(母)(都)(做)(小)(生)(意)(,家)(境)(中)(等)(以)(上)(,在)(就)(业)(时)(,陈)(洋)(有)(心)(做)(生)(意)(,但)(被)(父)(母)(否)(定)(了)(。父)(母)(认)(为)(,“做)(生)(意)(太)(累)(,不)(如)(到)(事)(业)(单)(位)(去)(稳)(定)(、体)(面)(”。在)(五)(年)(前)(,事)(业)(单)(位)(还)(很)(吃)(香)(,陈)(洋)(的)(不)(少)(同)(学)(也)(是)(如)(此)(选)(择)(,他)(也)(就)(听)(从)(了)(父)(母)(的)(意)(见)(。  陈)(洋)(从)(小)(学)(习)(优)(秀)(,最)(后)(考)(取)(了)(某)(名)(牌)(大)(学)(的)(研)(究)(生)(,一)(直)(被)(父)(母)(和)(亲)(戚)(当)(成)(成)(功)(的)(例)(子)(到)(处)(宣)(讲)(。陈)(洋)(也)(踌)(躇)(满)(志)(,打)(算)(在)(单)(位)(干)(一)(番)(事)(业)(。  然)(而)(,一)(进)(入)(工)(作)(岗)(位)(,他)(就)(感)(觉)(自)(己)(被)(打)(败)(了)(。  陈)(洋)(的)(岗)(位)(是)(“研)(究)(”,然)(而)(到)(单)(位)(之)(后)(才)(发)(现)(,这)(个)(工)(作)(主)(要)(是)(写)(报)(告)(。“所)(谓)(‘报)(告)(’,多)(数)(时)(候)(就)(是)(帮)(领)(导)(总)(结)(政)(绩)(。”陈)(洋)(说)(。  “刚)(开)(始)(摸)(不)(到)(门)(道)(,老)(老)(实)(实)(地)(写)(上)(了)(单)(位)(工)(作)(中)(的)(不)(足)(。领)(导)(一)(看)(,拉)(下)(脸)(,大)(吼)(‘你)(以)(为)(你)(是)(谁)(,我)(吃)(的)(盐)(比)(你)(吃)(的)(饭)(多)(,轮)(不)(到)(你)(对)(我)(指)(手)(画)(脚)(!’”  陈)(洋)(说)(,打)(那)(后)(他)(就)(“学)(乖)(”了)(,写)(报)(告)(就)(绞)(尽)(脑)(汁)(写)(“高)(大)(上)(”的)(形)(容)(词)(。“我)(以)(前)(最)(讨)(厌)(这)(样)(的)(八)(股)(文)(,没)(有)(一)(句)(是)(实)(在)(的)(,什)(么)(成)(绩)(斐)(然)(、形)(势)(喜)(人)(,那)(些)(话)(写)(完)(了)(自)(己)(都)(觉)(得)(恶)(心)(。人)(生)(最)(悲)(哀)(的)(莫)(过)(于)(变)(成)(自)(己)(曾)(讨)(厌)(的)(人)(,我)(在)(写)(材)(料)(的)(时)(候)(常)(常)(感)(受)(到)(这)(种)(‘悲)(哀)(’。”  “而)(且)(遇)(到)(各)(种)(考)(核)(、评)(比)(和)(视)(察)(的)(时)(候)(会)(特)(别)(忙)(,常)(常)(临)(下)(班)(领)(导)(一)(个)(电)(话)(过)(来)(,晚)(上)(就)(得)(加)(班)(赶)(材)(料)(。还)(没)(有)(加)(班)(费)(。”陈)(洋)(说)(,每)(天)(围)(着)(领)(导)(转)(,觉)(得)(自)(己)(没)(有)(存)(在)(感)(,变)(成)(了)(一)(台)(机)(器)(,每)(天)(忙)(忙)(碌)(碌)(,却)(浑)(浑)(噩)(噩)(。  “以)(前)(还)(要)(参)(加)(很)(多)(‘应)(酬)(’,经)(常)(喝)(吐)(,胃)(变)(得)(很)(差)(,现)(在)(还)(没)(养)(回)(来)(。”让)(陈)(洋)(欣)(慰)(的)(是)(,中)(央)(颁)(布)(“八)(项)(规)(定)(”以)(来)(,他)(陪)(领)(导)(出)(去)(喝)(酒)(吃)(饭)(的)(情)(况)(少)(了)(。  从)(2013年)(开)(始)(,各)(种)(禁)(令)(导)(致)(收)(入)(下)(降)(。“我)(们)(一)(个)(月)(5000多)(元)(,以)(前)(每)(个)(月)(会)(发)(个)(千)(把)(块)(的)(超)(市)(卡)(,逢)(年)(过)(节)(也)(会)(有)(小)(几)(千)(的)(过)(节)(费)(。但)(现)(在)(超)(市)(卡)(、过)(节)(费)(都)(没)(了)(,连)(年)(终)(奖)(都)(可)(能)(要)(大)(幅)(缩)(水)(。”他)(说)(。  陈)(洋)(自)(认)(为)(对)(金)(钱)(要)(求)(不)(是)(很)(高)(,但)(还)(是)(觉)(得)(这)(样)(的)(收)(入)(水)(平)(有)(些)(“寒)(碜)(”。“亲)(戚)(们)(都)(以)(为)(我)(每)(月)(有)(一)(万)(多)(的)(收)(入)(,我)(都)(不)(好)(意)(思)(说)(实)(话)(。”他)(说)(,现)(在)(同)(学)(中)(在)(企)(业)(上)(班)(的)(都)(混)(得)(比)(他)(好)(。  “三)(十)(而)(立)(,我)(怎)(么)(都)(感)(觉)(自)(己)(立)(不)(起)(来)(。趁)(现)(在)(还)(有)(点)(激)(情)(,赶)(紧)(撤)(吧)(。”陈)(洋)(想)(辞)(职)(去)(创)(业)(,打)(算)(年)(后)(再)(做)(通)(父)(母)(工)(作)(,实)(在)(做)(不)(通)(,就)(“先)(斩)(后)(奏)(”。  “生)(活)(毕)(竟)(是)(自)(己)(的)(,不)(是)(父)(母)(的)(。”陈)(洋)(安)(慰)(自)(己)(。
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